This is getting old....and gratitude

I would really like the old adage, "Third time is the charm" to be true in the case of my back, but currently it's not coming true. I really want this surgery to be my last.

My back was healing well for the first few weeks after surgery. I wasn't in a lot of pain and the deep hip pain that I had had prior to surgery was gone. The only thing that hadn't gone away after the surgery was my shin numbness. Unfortunately, about 3 weeks after surgery the bottom of my foot started going numb and has progressively been getting worse. It has also been progressively getting more and more painful, especially the more I am on it or if I sit too long.

I had a follow-up appointment this past week and the LPN ordered three things: a nerve conduction test to see how much nerve damage I have, an MRI to make sure I haven't re-herniated a disc, and physical therapy. The hope is that there is just scar tissue that has formed around the nerve and hopefully the physical therapy will take care of that. I had the nerve conduction study yesterday and although I didn't get full results from that, Dr. Watkins made the comment that one of my nerves is "hammered". He was also a little surprised that with the symptoms I'm having that other nerves aren't more damaged. He seemed a little bit stumped, but didn't go into bigger details.

This particular test revisited one of my biggest frustrations of going to the doctor...having to wait for my follow-up appointment to get the results of tests, especially when it takes forever to get back into them. ( I can't get back into the LPN for a month.) It's so stupid to me that you can't see results to your own medical tests/files without signing a release form etc. It's my medical file. How is that the property of someone else?

I started physical therapy yesterday and am already very impressed with the therapist I'm seeing. He hasn't just given me "cookie cutter" exercises to do and in two days has already changed what I'm doing substantially. I really like that he is working on my flexibility along with core stabilization. He also is an athlete himself and so we have a lot to talk about as he's working on me, which makes the time pass quickly, yet I get a lot done.

Today I had my MRI and as I was laying in the machine I started thinking about the many things I am grateful for. I am grateful for the health insurance that I have, especially given the current status and talks of healthcare reform. I am grateful for modern medical technology and medicines that allow conditions to be diagnosed and treated. I'm grateful for skilled physicians and physical therapists who continually stay current in their specialty and improve the care of their patients, I'm grateful for the relationships that I've developed with physicians through my profession and the help they give me. I'm grateful for my parents and how supportive and helpful they've been through my recovery, especially letting me use their car since I can't drive mine right now. I'm grateful for the concern of my friends, family and co-workers and their well wishes for my healing. I'm grateful for my student trainers adapting to my limitations this fall and for never complaining when I've needed them to do all of my bending, lifting and running activities. I'm grateful for athletes who have been very patient and have understood that I can't do everything I've done in the past. I'm grateful for a former athlete of mine, who now works at the physical therapy office that I'm going to, who reminded me today, gently and encouragingly, that I can have a positive attitude and achieve things I never have before if I work hard and am consistent.

I'm grateful for the time in that MRI machine I had to be reminded of all that I have. I'm grateful for my blessings....especially this ones I don't always notice immediately.